In this segment we are going back to the topic of sex because the article in question contains some different points than our first post on Lies & the Church. The following is taken from ‘Five Lies the Church Told Me About Sex’ which is found at:
Lie #1: The Bible is absolutely, fundamentally clear on the morality of sex outside of marriage
This is not a lie. The Bible is very absolute and clear on the morality of sex outside of marriage. Such acts are adultery. There is no question about that except for those who do not accept the truth and distort what some biblical figures did. For example:
The short answer for this is simply, no, it’s not. From the relationships between men (David and Jonathan) to the relationships between unmarried couples (the Shulamite and her lover), the Bible is far from precise in how it addresses sexual sin
First, David & Jonathon did not have a homosexual affair. Strong love between friends does take place and it is not sinful nor do the participants violate God’s laws in doing so. There is nothing in scripture that says their affection for each other was homosexual in nature. Men can love men and still not violate God’s rules or be homosexual.
As for the Shulamite women, where in the Bible does it say she did not sin and her actions were in line with God’s teaching? Just because something is recorded in the Bible does it mean that the participants were obeying God or did not ask and receive forgiveness for their sinful behavior.
Lie #2: Men are visual and women are emotional.
I have found that this is not so. Women are just as visual as men are and some men can be just as emotional as women. But while it may seem like a lie those saying it may think it is the truth and present it as they were taught. So we should not be quick to condemn those who say this as liars or that they are presenting lies.
Lie #3: Sex in the wrong context (eg, outside of marriage) will devastate you for all other bonds
We will disagree with her and the example she provides is not a Christian one but a secular one. There is a difference between the relationship, as the former does not have evil attacking them for their sins. They are usually left alone by evil for they are not trying to become holy or follow Christ correctly.
Of course we are not sure what that author means by ‘all other bonds’ for she does not really give us any real clues as to what bonds she is referring to. The example is only of one sin following another sin and not one that demonstrates that Christians trying not to sin having a happy ending. It does not support the point being made.
This is the trouble when those who do not like what believers tell them. They distort the issue and then call the statements made by believers lies when all we see is that person just doesn’t want to follow God’s rules and appeals to those who break God’s rules as evidence the believer is wrong.
We do not appeal to those who do not believe in order to justify our obedience. Just because the unbeliever is not having trouble with their relationships when they do not follow God’s rules does not mean that that practice is correct or will not be punished eventually.
Believers do not appeal to evil to do their own thing, ignore God or look for excuses to follow sinful desires. They are to follow the Holy Spirit, biblical teaching and be like Christ. Christ did not do what that author has done, and such actions lead people to sin which i snot right.
We are also not called to follow humans but Jesus and the Bible tells us how to do just that. If a couple is sinning but has a strong relationship that does not remove the sin and make their lives holy. Sinful lives are not an example for holy ones.
Lie #4: Lust is any kind of sexual desire whatsoever, and that’s bad.
If this is taught then it is because many believers misunderstand lust and sexual desire. But with that said this may not be a lie at all as some people confuse lust with proper sexual or romantic attraction. The fault does not just lie with those who say things like that quote.
If you want a starting point, lust leads to sinful activities. For example, wrong thoughts, wrong sexual behavior, adulterous ideas and so on. Correct sexual desire usually comes with love and love does not want to sin or lead the one they are attracted to to sin.
We need to be sophisticated when we approach this issue and learn the difference between what is or isn’t sin so that we can teach our children the correct ideas and why it is important to do one over the other. By failing to learn correctly the difference we can do more harm than good.
Lie #5: Everyone is heterosexual and cisgender
I do not know about this as I never heard of this point before. But what we do know is that the author of that quote goes to the absurd to make her point. She says:
We are all headed for heterosexual marriage. We are all white, middle class people. Such a view of the world not only erases and does violence to actual people, but it ignores the diverse beauty of God’s creation.
I have never heard this either. What I heard a lot was—‘Just be patient you will meet the right one’ This is usually said by those who are married and no longer need to worry about finding a mate. It is as annoying as some of these other statements but we do not call them lies.
People overreact this days and look for a sin under every rock or behind every bushel and make mountains out of molehills when they run into ideas they do not like. Instead of being wise and understanding, they get all offensive and make all sorts of false accusations against the other person. This is not Christian bit divisive and working against building the body of Christ.
There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with certain statements but there is something wrong when you are told the truth and do not change from the false idea to the truth. There is also something wrong when you change from the truth to the false idea.
The statements called lies here most likely are not lies but misunderstood ideas about sex and love. The real problem though is in the response of the person who is making the accusations. They bring hatred, resentment and so on to the discussion instead of learning the truth and gently correctly those who err.
That is what makes this issue a tough one because the problem lies mostly with those who make the accusations. They do not realize or maybe care that they may be sinning in their teaching or attitude towards these ‘lies’. Nor do they seem to care that they are telling people to stop following God’s instructions and follow after evil and its ways. That is a major problem here for true love does not lead people to sin nor does it rejoice in evil or teach falsehoods.
But that is what is missing from this discussion. Those who oppose purity or moral sexual behavior do not think what they are doing is sin. When they do that then they have lost all proper guidance and they are not following the Holy Spirit to the truth but are following their own sinful desires and calling them good.
The concept of sin is part of this discussion but too many people want to toss that concept out for they do not want to think of themselves as a sinner in need of repentance. We do not throw biblical teaching out because the other people involved in the discussion do not agree or believe that sin exists.
Purity comes from God and while some people may make mistakes in how to teach that idea, we do not throw out purity because of that misunderstanding. We learn where we went wrong, correct our mistakes and continue to teach purity correctly.
We also do not call other people liars when we disagree with their viewpoint. People can be mistaken long before they actually lied.