Misunderstanding A Parent’s Role

06 Feb

In today’s society the trend has developed where the parents feel that they exist only for their children or to be their child’s friend. These people, not all parents, give blind support to their child as that is what they feel their role in life really is. I realize I may have not totally described this trend but hope that these few words bring to mind those parents who fail to be parents and that failure is not due to a subjective standard concerning parenting. If we used a subjective standard, none of us could be considered a successful parent for we would fail someone’s idea of what a parent is.

The objective standard of course comes from the Bible where parents are given their duties by God throughout its pages. But what is missing from those instructions are the ideas that parents only exist for their children, they are to entertain their offspring, they are to blindly encourage and support their descendants. They are also not to use unconditional love to allow their children to remain in or practice sin.

This post is going to look at bad advice, and false teaching, on the part of one parent whose daughter declared that she is a homosexual. The quotes come from the following link:

#1. Five years ago, my daughter came out. I love her. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. I stand with her. I defend her. I believe in her. I protect her.

And my life’s work is now to advocate for her and for all those in the LGBTQ community.

To be honest, there is nothing wrong with loving one’s child even if they ‘come out’ and declare that they prefer sexual alternatives. The sin and wrong comes in when the parent ignores God’s instructions and supports and advocates for sin and evil. Can he defend her choice? Yes he can BUT that defense has limits and those restrictions mean that we do not tell our daughter that they are not wrong or not sinning.

Can he stand with her? Not really for the Bible warns about standing with those who side with evil over God’s ways. Can he believe in her? Yes, homosexuals are given talents and gifts just like straight people and they can accomplish many things. Alan Turing of the 2nd World War demonstrated this achievement BUT that success does not mean that the sin of homosexuality is made clean and normal. it is still sin and anathema to God. Can he protect her? Yes he can, as know father wants to see any harm come to their child but again that protection comes with limits.

It is the last line, though, that is most important. Parents have a choice to make and this choice is so clearly illustrated in the testing of Abraham by God concerning his son. Parents have to choose who is greatest in their lives–their child or God. They need to choose whom they will side with and hold dear and in this case the father writing that article has chosen his daughter over God as he spends his days advocating for sin and ignores God’s views on the issue.

Parents can do a lot of things for their children but giving up their eternal life, giving up God and Jesus, giving up the truth is not one of those acts. A child is not reason enough for a parent to leave biblical teaching and sin and disobey God. Not only is the lesson taught that God and his ways are not important to the parent, the child gets a false sense of themselves. They get to think that they are more important than God and his ways.

They also learn that sin and evil is good and that is far from the truth. No parent should teach those lessons.

#2. Having a gay child is an absolute blessing from God.

I wold disagree as that idea means that a straight child is not a blessing. Of course he may not have intended to convey that message but that is one of the messages that is sent by those words. is a homosexual child a blessing from God? Hard to say but since God views homosexuality as sin, and not part of his kingdom then we highly doubt that idea.

We can learn from having a homosexual child, in areas of how to treat them and their friends right; how to correctly apply biblical teaching to their lives; how to teach biblical instructions correctly to their children and how to educate them correctly and so on. One could call that a blessing but it would all depend on how you define the word ‘blessing’.

We need to look at some of his words in that section to get a better idea of what he means:

That love is pure, holy, God-given, true, right and everything good in this world. So the source of the conflict had to be somewhere in my faith beliefs.

In other words he doesn’t see any sin. He thinks his daughter is pure and good. This means that he is not looking at his daughter with the love of god but with a father’s love for his child as love defined in 1 Cor. 13

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

If he was looking at his daughter with God’s love, he would not rejoice that she is sinning; would not support that sin nor advocate for it and he would not keep his daughter in sin. As we pointed out in the previous post, love does not keep people trapped in their sin nor does it redefine sin so that those who want to practice it can feel good about themselves.

God has said in Is. not to call evil good thus the love that father is using i snot of God, is not true, or even right but one that has the influence of evil on it.

#3.There is a third choice. But to make it, you have to be willing to take a journey.

If the source of the conflict can only be somewhere in your faith, then you have to open the box you are in and honestly examine your beliefs. And when you do that, God will reveal truth to you about God’s heart and unconditional love, not only for your child, but for you too.

He does not understand unconditional love here. God has unconditional love yet he still makes conditions upon entering his kingdom– you must give up your sin.  Also unconditional love does not remove the practice of discipline and punishment when those loved disobey, or commit other sins. Love does not distort or change the rules of right and wrong but holds everyone to them with fairness, justice and mercy when it is called for. You will notice that in God’s judgment, unrepentant people do not get mercy and escape the punishment of the lake of fire.

Unconditional love also sets rules of behavior as rules are made to keep the holiness and purity of a house or organization. Rules are not established by God so he can be mean and blood=thirsty but so that people can know what they must do in order to be included in his home. A parent of a LBGTQ child needs to set fair and just rules and if the child cannot abide by those rules then love brings discipline and punishment to the child. Love doe snot accept rule breaking as normal or an honest act.

The truth God will reveal to you is how to enact his words correctly and obediently. He will not tell yo to disobey or ignore his words.

#4. My relationship with my daughter has never been better, my relationship with God has never been deeper.

To get there, I had to step away from religion, fundamentalism, legalism, anything that is part of behavior-focused, expectation-driven, Christianity. As I stepped away from that, I realized I was stepping into the very life Jesus taught and showed us.

In other words he will reject the rules and redefine Christianity his way in order for him to avoid treating his daughter biblically. One can have a good relationship with their LBGTQ child without giving up or altering their faith or beliefs. Jesus did not teach us to embrace and call sin good. He did not teach us to alter biblical teaching to accept sin and unrepentant sinners. He did not teach us to not tell sinners to repent of their sins.

Yes Jesus was a friend to sinners but that friendship did not have Jesus participating in or accepting their sinful ways. Jesus did not or tell us to become sinful in order to follow his teachings correctly. He did not teach us to disobey his Father and his instructions so that father does not understand Jesus’ teaching at all. Yes one can be a friend or a parent to their LBGTQ child, helping them when they need help, healing them when they are sick or injured, feeding them when they are hungry and other good works, but we never tell them they are okay or that they do not need to repent of their sins.

Jesus never altered the biblical rules to allow unrepentant sinners to feel good about themselves or give them false hope that they will be included when heaven’s gates are opened to allow the righteous in. There is nothing of God in the LBGTQ preferences and we cannot pretend that there is.

#5. I learned that unconditional love, affirmation and acceptance of my LGBTQ child is actually consistent with a faith that follows Jesus.

This is nothing but false teaching and demonstrates that that father does not understand one thing about Jesus or what he taught.We do not accept sin nor do we say that those who practice sin and have not repented are okay. The faith that follows Jesus is the one that tells the LBGTQ child that they must be born again and that they must give up those preferences if they want to be saved and go to heaven. Unconditional love tells the truth to these children and does not lead them to false hope or being deluded about their spiritual standing with God.

#6. Your precious child holds your heart like no other. And you hold their heart in your hands like no one ever will.

Yes that is so BUT that only means that a parent must choose who is more important–God or their child? It is not unconditional love to give up God and his ways, or alter them, for one’s child. That is not helping the child but keeping them in their sin and that act i snot love at all but selfishness. if we follow Abraham’s example we see that we will not lose our child if we chose God over them but we will or can lose God if we take our child over God.(especially if we change God’s word or our beliefs in order to maintain a relationship with our sinful child).

We must ask– people do not change the rules or reject God when their child is a murderer or some other vile sinner so why will they do it for the LBGTQ sinner?

#7. I am just a dad, there is nothing special about me. All I did was refuse to abandon my child, and I refused to abandon my faith. I decided to begin a journeya blessed beautiful journey.

In other words, he is lying for he has abandoned his faith because he altered it, as seen in point 4, and he has taken a sinful journey for he is not following the Holy Spirit to the truth. parents are not to spit in God’s face and say he is wrong when it comes to the LBGTQ issue or children. Human parents do not know better than God on how to raise a child or deal with their sinful decisions.

God was a parent long before humans were created thus he knows better than we in how to deal with these problems. Parents are to lead and guide their children away from sin not encourage them to remain in them. Parents are to provide wise counsel and leadership not demonstrate that God and his ways do not matter. if you look at God’s words to the children of Israel and how he stresses that they are to follow and teach their children God’s ways you will see support for these points.

Parents fail because they choose the world and its thinking over God and his instructions. The do not fail because some subjective standard is being applied to their parenting skills. They fail because they have stopped listening to God and have gone their own way and they have let their children influence that choice. Instead of teaching and leading their children to what is right and holy they let their children to lead them to sin and destruction.

The parents lead their children and the parents are to follow God so they can lead correctly, that is the only formula for parenting.


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Posted by on February 6, 2016 in academics, Bible, church, controversial issues, faith, family, General Life, homosexuality, leadership, theology


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