The owner of Formerly Fundie has come out with a post discussing John MacArthur’s comments on homosexual children. You can see both at the following link
First off allow me to preface my remarks with the observation that the owner of Formerly Fundie (FF) doesn’t grasp biblical teaching. he has given that up t pursue his own alternative ideas.
Secondly he was a little dishonest in his assessment of MacArthur’s advice. MacArthur provided two distinct categories on how to deal with the situation while FF didn’t even mention the categories and lumped everyone into one group and misrepresented what MacArthur said. Here is the quote:
John MacArthur was recently asked by a reader how they should respond to an adult child who has acknowledged they are gay. His parenting advice?
Alienate them. Separate them. Isolate them. Refuse to have a meal with them. Turn them over to Satan.
What was also unfair is that amount of time MacArthur gave to the topic as 2 minutes is a little short to fully address the issue. There are other scriptures that play a role in dealing with a child who declares that they are homosexual.
One is, ‘Do unto others…’ and if we would not want to be shunned or mistreated for our beliefs then we should not mistreat others because of theirs. This does NOT mean that we condone, support or encourage their sinful behavior, it means that we still treat them as Jesus would want without disobeying God’s rules.
Love is not something that endorses sinful behavior. It endures all things and hopes continuously that the child will see the error of their ways and repent.
7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13 NASB)
Love tells the offending person that there are boundaries that the believer cannot cross:
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; (Is. 5:20 NASB)
The believer cannot change the rules of God simply because the offender is their child. But one does not treat their child in an evil manner:
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; (Luke 6:35 NASB)
The homosexual is not a friend to God or the church and though people do not like thinking that their children are an enemy of God and themselves, in reality their deciding to go with homosexuality makes them just that.
The thing that bothered me about that short video on MacArthur’s advice is that there was no time to add that such actions as he describes needs to be done in love, with justice and fairness. Not in fear as having a homosexual child is not a sin.
You need to follow ALL of Christ’s teachings not just a few and you need to make sure the beams are removed from your eyes first in order to clearly follow the Holy Spirit as he leads you to how you should act. Scriptural action demands spiritual help not emotional or knee-jerk reactions.
One thing the believer needs to realize is that most scriptures do not come with escape clauses. They do not say ‘do good to everyone except…’ or ‘be just and merciful to everyone except…’. You really need to examine all scripture on how to act and not cherry pick the few that justify your anger, humiliation or shame.
Dealing with the declaration of a child is not an immediate response but one that takes time and careful following of the Holy Spirit.
Now to some of FF’s comments
#1. One of the key passages folks use to support shunning comes from 1 Corinthians 5– the unfortunate truth, however, is that Paul lists several sins he thought were shun-worthy. Folks like MacArthur have lifted sexual immorality out of that passage while completely ignoring the rest of what Paul taught.
The reason why some people ‘lift out’ one particular sin from the passage is because the topic is dealing only with that one particular sin. The others are not being committed by the child in question and have no part of the discussion.
#2. Which in America, is a whole lot of us. I wonder if MacArthur would also suggest you shun an adult child who makes $200,000 a year but doesn’t tithe or give any of their money to charity? Somehow, I doubt it
MacArthur may not suggest that but others might. There is no point in targeting one person then applying the error to everyone even though they may shun such a person.
Here is the link to 1 Cor. 5 so you can see what FF is talking about:
MacArthur may also do the talk to him first portion of scripture, as he mentioned, and we would not know about it for it is a private matter. Homosexuality, on the other hand, gets a lot of press and it is not so private as homosexuals announce to the world their sexual preference decision. So it is unfair of FF to make such a charge.
#3. Jesus is the one who religious conservatives hated because instead of shunning, he had meals with people
Yes Jesus was a friend to sinners but FF is misunderstanding what Jesus did and is wrong in his comparison to Paul’s words. FF forgets those passages of scripture which tell us to help those who cannot pay us back, or to treat the poor and so on. There is a big difference between church fellowship and charitable work. FF doesn’t understand this difference.
Jesus made it very clear to Nicodemus that to see or be a part of the kingdom of God one must be born again (John 3). He did not allow unrepentant sinners into the church nor into his discipleship training. Judas would be a different discussion for a different time.
The key is for a homosexual child to be part of the kingdom, they must repent of their sins which includes the sin of homosexuality.
#4. This is precisely why we are to make Jesus– and nothing else– the center of our faith and practice. Because it is through Jesus we find that sharing a meal, not alienation, is what love looks like.
This is a blatant attempt to disregard God’s teaching on how his church is to be run and seeks to include unrepentant sinners in the church. Paul said nothing that undermines what Jesus taught and Jesus did not teach things contrary to what Paul was instructed to teach.
One has to understand what the Bible teaches and how the different verses fit together so that the church has the truth and follows that not what unbelievers and false Christians think the church should do.
It is not easy learning and dealing with a child who have made the decision to go after alternatives like homosexuality but a parent needs to be strong in Christ and do things the right way in order to not fall and go with destruction over eternal life.
One does not suddenly claim God is wrong then change the rules when a child of theirs decides to disobey. God is not wrong nor is the Bible and believers have to accept the fact that their children have the right of free choice and get to decide for themselves whom they will follow.
That choice does nothing to change the rules of God or the truthfulness of the Bible. God, Jesus and the Bible are concerned about all people not just the children and children do not influence God to change his rules especially the ones about sin and homosexuality. Children have to abide by God’s rules just like the adults do and they will be responsible for their decisions.
In the flood story, you will notice that children do not get a free pass from judgement. That is because they sinned and failed to repent in time even though the offer of repentance was out there for over a century before judgment came.
The offer of repentance has been out there for 2,000 years and children (whether young or old) still need to repent of their sins if they want to be saved. The rules do not change. So get the truth about how to handle the declaration made by your child concerning their sexual preference.
Make sure it is of God and biblical and act according to all scriptures that pertain to the subject not just a few. Do it right in hopes of seeing your child repent from that choice and change their ways for God’s.